I woke being able to see my cold breath. Snow fell heavier against my lone window. My view was nothing more than the swanky deck of the high rise next door. Mahogany colored lawn chairs and potted plants encased by a 7 foot high chain link fence topped with giant coils of razor-wire to keep the lowers out. I would sometimes stare at the yuppies sunbathing from behind the fence like a prisoner looking out to the real world that he had no chance of being a part of. My days were usually spent writing away on my old electric smith-corona or attending open auditions at the drab midtown studios. If I couldn’t start typing away almost immediately from waking, I left for the subway. My mind was usually filled with Her when I woke up, but this morning I jumped from the bed to my desk. Most of the pages littering my desk are nothing but boyish musings of her. I pecked out words until noon before I realized it might take me the rest of the day to clean up my neglected room. I hardly did laundry which made a permanent home on my floor, my small stove top still had dried ramen on it from months past along with a solid centimeter of grease, and my carpet had probably never been graced by a vacuum. I won’t start cleaning though until I do my cleaning ritual, which I do every time I clean—get neatly drunk. This required a run to the store. With the change in my pocket and the coins I found under my mattress, I had enough for a nice bottle of whiskey. Bitter cold air swept under the twin wooden doors in the lobby. Javier was still on the clock from the night before, going through a dozen envelopes. ”You Cartwright?” he said showing me a piece of mail. “Sure ‘am.” I grab the letter and split the top. A Kansas stamp and my parents letterhead sticker don the front. A 20 spot falls from the envelope to the floor. My mother the saint, again sending cash in the mail. It seemed she always knew when I needed it, she would get a huge letter from me for this one! I turned around to head out and there She was. Standing behind me. She has short blond hair just below the ear. Her eyes big and blue. I smile and she smiles back. ”Hi.” she says in a absolutely heart breakingly gorgeous voice. I don’t if was the whole pot of coffee I just drank or if it was because this was the first time I saw Her, but instead of simply saying hi back, I throw up that whole pot of coffee all over her. –Dabney Cartwright
